didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
