And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize