My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
