Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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