Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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