I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
