So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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