I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Farmville is her only friend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
