Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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