Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
