I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
