Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
a search helicopter?!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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