And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
