I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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