In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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