as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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