I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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