I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
