I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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