You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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