you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
