If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize