so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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