i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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