if i can run in heels then i can drive
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
