Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
