he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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