just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
