You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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