i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
