WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
