I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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