That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
