someone threw a dead crab at me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
