I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
