Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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