Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize