East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i dont even know how to be here
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
