dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
