This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
