We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
