so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
