You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
