whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
