you win again, gameday.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
