Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
