Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize