Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
