Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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