THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
