Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
