just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
