my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
