he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
