so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize