what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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