So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
