im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
