check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
did you just send me my own nude
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
