left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize