What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
