Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
