Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
