we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize