We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
