Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
