Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
