i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
