I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i love accidental penises.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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