Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
